Contrary to many people in today's Western society, I have often disagreed with certain aspects of the American ethos. Although there are many wonderful things about our country—such as diversity, freedom of speech, freedom of thought and expression, the pioneering spirit, and religious freedom—there are also challenges. As time progresses and we move deeper into the age of the internet and now the age of AI, it’s clear that many of us are feeling unwell. Our minds are being overwhelmed by noise, information, tweets, memes, posts, and opinions. We are bombarded with political propaganda that makes little sense and rarely serves the common person. Our news feeds are curated to be negative on purpose, simply to trigger more engagement. And the list goes on. I want to argue for a quieter life—not quiet in the sense of isolation, but in the sense of withdrawing from the intense globalism we are experiencing at increasing levels. The world is becoming more global through the accessibility of the internet, and in the process we are losing our connection to the world immediately around us: our communities, our environments, and even our own hearts. We are living in a society that is profoundly unwell. It’s not hard to see or feel. This is deeply troubling.
We are being fed narratives and agendas marketed as helpful and uniting—things such as “social” media. Of course, there is an element of connection that happens online, but I am beginning to believe that the cons are starting to outweigh the pros. We often blindly follow trends just to keep up with the constant change. We feel left out or irrelevant if we don’t know what’s going on. We feel that we must participate, even if it means our minds rot in the process.
A little while ago, I watched an interesting podcast with a man named Sheehan Quirke, in which he explained how he quickly built a Twitter (X) following by posting about beauty and the need to reconstruct our priorities around art and inspiration. I then explored his work and began thinking about how I might use the platform to increase traffic to my own posts about cultivating a well society through romance and art. My tagline is: Helping to build a well society through a return to beauty, simplicity, and deep connection.
The trouble was that after a short time—although my writing was being seen—I felt increasingly unwell. The interactions between people’s online personas brought confusion to my psyche. I felt trapped in an endless echo chamber of propaganda encouraging me to stay on the platform, hoping that after two years I might build a following and get a book deal. The American message of “work harder to get rich” was pervasive. At its core, this message is not producing the kind of society I want to live in.
We are not living in a culture that truly values community, balance, order, and wellness. We will do anything to become wealthy—or, for many of us, simply to survive and pay the bills. My question is: Do we even have the courage to ask why we are under such pressure, and whether there is another way? A better way. A way that creates wellness for all, not only for the few who can afford it.
This is not a political issue, and money itself is not the problem. The issue lies in the ethos and values beneath our economic system. Almost everyone I know is operating at a subpar level—grinding, surviving, and not living the life they truly want. Many people are stuck in survival mode, and the discouragement of what to do about it hangs over all of us.
I mentioned Sheehan’s podcast because he is pointing to something crucial, and we need to pay attention. In America in particular, we are not surrounded by beauty and inspiration. We are surrounded by structures, cities, and spaces that are functional rather than inspiring. We rarely walk into a place and feel moved, awakened, or emotionally stirred. That may even feel strange to read, because it has become so foreign. Our environments reflect a society consumed with greed and consumption—one that does not pause to appreciate the beautiful, even though beauty is often the gateway to freedom and healing.
Recently, I spoke with a financially successful man. By society’s standards, he had “made it”: high net worth, large purchases paid in cash, no financial worries. Yet the first thing I noticed was startling: exhaustion. Burnout. A hunched posture. Bags under his eyes. Cynicism. Anger. Resentment. Disconnection. He had followed the prescribed path and achieved its goals. But what was missing? A heart alive with love, passion, strength, and consciousness.
The point is clear: something is not right, and we are trending toward greater unwellness as a society. This must change—and quickly. This is urgent.
This is why Built for Love is focusing on creating a “strong and stable” container. Beyond the joyful service of men’s work, we must address the root of how humans are living in a toxic society and work to change the core ethos of participation. This isn’t about creating an alternative society outside of America, moving to a remote island, disengaging, or retreating into cynicism. It’s about taking action to resist the trends.
And we must define resistance correctly. I don’t mean violence or striving. Resistance means living from a different place—with a different set of values. Prioritising different things. Pushing against unhealthy cultural currents with boldness and clarity. Not blindly doing things simply because “that’s how it's always been done” or because selling out seems to offer security. It means living and working from rest, delight, and pleasure. This is how we resist the tide of madness.
Ben Howard put it well:
“Has the world gone mad or is it me?Is it all so very bad, I can’t see.”
This platform exists because madness has become the norm. We work to pay people who don’t care about us. Our lives are dictated by abstract financial systems we have no control over, leaving us anxious and vulnerable. We live in depletion and often lack the energy to care for ourselves or our communities. I can no longer simply write about it—we need to enact change. Things must become different.
Let’s bring this into a positive direction and look toward a path forward. Although the current state of the world feels grim, there is a way out through three simple core values:
Beauty
Rest
Community
We must look for ways to integrate more beauty into our lives. Less violence. Less soul-draining engagement. Less grinding for things that do not nourish us. Fewer excuses such as “This is just how it is” or “That’s not realistic.” We also need to examine the rhythm of our lives—our obsession with work, consumption, indulgence, competition, striving, and grinding. Has the narrative of “grind culture,” preached as something positive, truly served us? Why are we constantly exhausted? Why is deep rest so elusive? Because we are participating in a system that cannot possibly offer deep rest. The epidemic of depression, anxiety, and mental illness stems from our inability to rest, combined with the façade we must maintain to function in a toxic culture. Perhaps our greatest need is to build relationships that are deep, regular, and woven into daily life. American culture worships individualism—every person for themselves. It often feels as if the most savage and greedy rise to the top, stepping on others to achieve “success.” This cannot continue. At the core of the human heart is the desire for connection and intimacy. Historically, societies have always operated communally. In some places, they still do—but in America, we have lost our way.
How can we implement these values practically?
Beauty: Shift your living space to emphasize beauty. Buy items that are beautiful, even if inexpensive. Don’t rely solely on big-box stores—visit second-hand shops, thrift stores, and local markets. Bring plants into your home. Write hand-written letters. Collect art books. Add color. Watch independent films that highlight romance and beauty (e.g., Before Sunrise). Curate your social media to include art and photography rather than noise.
Rest: Take inventory of your days. What can you remove? What drains you? What can you say no to? Can you put away your phone earlier in the evening? Are you sleeping enough? Are there relationships you’re tolerating that chronically exhaust you? Are you pretending to be someone you’re not? Confronting these questions can help the soul stop pretending and finally rest.
Community: Do you know the people around you? Can you host a dinner? Volunteer locally? Write to a friend you’ve lost touch with? Speak to the homeless person you pass each day? Shop at a local market instead of a chain store? Buy from local farms or farmers markets?
There is a lot to digest here. These are big ideas and big challenges, and implementing them is often easier said than done. So let’s extend grace to ourselves. We aren't living in a society built on these values, so going against the current is a profound act of defiance—and it can feel disorienting at first. But I can guarantee that if we begin with ourselves, taking responsibility for our part, we will start to see change in the world around us.
If you'd like, I can also help you improve tone, structure, or cohesion—or rewrite this into a more formal, conversational, or article-ready style.
There is a lot to digest here. These are big ideas and big challenges, and implementing them is often easier said than done. So let’s extend grace to ourselves. We aren't living in a society built on these values, so going against the current is a profound act of defiance—and it can feel disorienting at first. But I can guarantee that if we begin with ourselves, taking responsibility for our part, we will start to see change in the world around us.
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